Mobile phones - things to consider.

Here’s a dilemma! My 16 year-old daughter (who lives with us) and 14 year-old stepdaughter (who lives with her mother) once had a vicious, albeit brief, SMS tiff via their mobile phones.

While conflict in “blended families” isn’t new to us, especially with three teenage girls in the mix, this episode cemented my dislike for mobiles and the impact they have on family life and the communication and social skills of our kids.

The girls could have had a face-to-face argument and, indeed, they sometimes do. But it’s so much easier to be nasty to someone when you don’t have to face them.

If you’re considering getting your child phone, really think hard about why it’s necessary and how it will be used. Set ground rules for use. Monitor what your children spend on phone credit and where that money is coming from. Kids often send each other credit and this can lead to arguments.

Ban phones from the dinner table and remind your children that it is bad manners to send or read texts when someone is speaking to them. Take an ongoing interest in their phone use and who they are communicating with. With younger children especially, check their Inbox regularly. If you don’t like what you find, confiscate the phone.

As well as teaching kids how to deal with being the victims of m-bullying, make sure they understand you will not tolerate them bullying others. According to www.itwire.com new research has revealed mobile phones and the internet are being used as weapons of abuse in teenage relationships “with a disturbing level of frequency”.

A survey … found teens in dating relationships were being controlled, threatened and humiliated through phones … while their parents remained “completely in the dark”. This was occurring with children as young as 13.

There are plenty of great websites with information about the dramatic increase in bullying by SMS and internet. One of the biggest problems seems to be that parents have been left in the dark by the rapid development of communication technology. Our kids are experts on mobile phones, instant messaging and website development and we often don't have a clue exactly what they're using that technology for! Do some research and make sure you're up to speed with your child's use of their mobile phone, emails, chatlines and internet.