I'm going to live with Mum!

One of the best things about being a sole parent was that MY WORD WAS LAW. There were no arguments with the other parent over bedtime, let alone philosophical differences on child-rearing.

My kids’ father lived in another state so they never once threatened to go and live with him in retaliation for an unwanted chore or curfew because that would meant moving a world away from their friends.

In our blended household, the status quo with my kids remains the same despite the eldest now being 18 and free to live where he pleases. In fact, would be PLEASE consider moving out sometime soon as I really feel it’s TIME. Just yesterday, I demanded that he now pay me for doing his ironing as he has more t-shirts than the rest of us combined.

But I digress. My partner’s ex-wife lives in the same town as us, so if his son (who does live with us) wants to make a point or feels aggrieved by some perceived injustice, he can threaten to move to Mum”. In my experience, this threat plagues stepfamilies. We have already experienced this with my partner's daughter who left her mother to live with us and then left us upon deciding her mother's house rules were less strict than ours.

Now, I would take this threat seriously and address it earnestly if not for the fact that he is 18 and this is the umpteenth time. A minor argument with his father can result in him packing his bags and "really, really" going to live with his mother. This weekend.

Calling his bluff, my partner agreed that perhaps this might be for the best. Perhaps he would benefit by going to live with his mother for a while. He is a sensitive kid and there are some unresolved issues with his mother.

This is one of those times when I don't know if I'm supposed to butt in or butt out. Should I encourage or discourage my stepson to go and live with his mother for a while? Is he looking to me for some guidance with this decision? Is it any of my business? What if he thinks my lack of input means I want him to go? We have always enjoyed a good relationship so I am finding this quite a quandary.

The fact is, I have been in his life just a few short years. She is his mother. There is no way of knowing if his moving will be the best or the worst thing, but we shall see if he follows through on the threat this time.